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Tag archives Musings
- July 19, 2011
The Universal Equation
Besides a few constants in life, I have always thought that change is good. But I have never considered the possibility of fate and chance outwitting my meticulous calculations. And lately I have come to realise that, stripped down to its barest, life is really just about parameters. We are all going to die. What […]
- April 4, 2011
The Hard Problem
Why do we feel the way we do? How is feeling related to consciousness? What is the origin of our conscious mind? Is reality merely a perception? Where does consciousness reside? Do we have a soul? Do you see red the way I do? How are cognitive experience linked to our construction of what is […]
- March 2, 2011
Open Closure
The truth is, sometimes when I think of you, I still feel sadness. It’s not the bawl-your-eyes out kind of sad, but more of a tugging pain, or numb melancholy. The other day I chanced upon (how these things manifest themselves in the sneakiest way, I will never know) the song that I wrote for […]
- February 17, 2011
Anti Denial
2011 Resolution #4: At least 2 blogposts a week. There are two kinds of fatigue. The first one, the one that you feel in your muscle, is fairly simple and has an almost fool-proof remedy – you sleep it off. But the second kind, the one that invades your consciousness, drills into your mind and […]
- June 30, 2010
The F Word
Faith – not wanting to know what is true. Friedrich Nietzsche When I think about it carefully, my elation on this tumultuous joyride is, by all standards and diagnosis, unfounded. Holding on stubbornly to the notion that doing it wrong is better than doing nothing? Oh yes. That’s it. For all I know, I might […]
- April 25, 2010
Spring
There are cloudy and confusing days, and then there are days like today. The weather is glittery and warm. On days like this I feel like I own the world. Being alone is a luxury that I could seldom afford nowadays. Claustrophobic antsiness led me to the lake, into an open space and open sky […]
- April 14, 2010
Time Travel
If I walk the thin line between reality and surreality, I would find myself transported into the default settings of an ancient valley. I would be fighting dinosaurs and drinking blood from a crudely crafted container. I would be ruthlessly defiant of my desires and needs. I would be the recurring nightmare of my nemesis […]
- April 5, 2010
Pointless
Let’s talk about everything and nothing. For the past few weeks I was troubled by a very strange thought. Strange, not because it was outer-spacely nor bizarrely exciting as I am inclined to be attracted to. But because it was very uncharacteristic of me. I realized that I might very well be living the best […]
- March 7, 2010
New Wave
It was a strange feeling. When I looked into the crowd and was swept over by an immense need to cry. I stood frozen in time, frozen in my sudden urge to reach inside myself and yank my heart out. The thundering beats, the florid lights, the melodic swaying, the sweat and the smell. If […]
- January 24, 2010
Puddle
. . . imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, ‘This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn’t it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!’ This is such a powerful […]
- January 9, 2010
Unsent
A messy start to an allegedly magnificent year. Why am I always stuck in a perpetually paradoxical situation? I hate the connotation of anything remotely conventional or stereotypical, or the futile effort of trying to prove otherwise. My head hurts. My heart hurts. Every pore of my existence hurts. There is too much ambiguity in […]
- December 25, 2009
Silent Night
On a night like this, when everything is quiet when it shouldn´t be, I wonder if somewhere beyond the vast abyss there is a parallel universe where habitual chaos transcribes into tranquil lucidity. The traffic outside my window, the clicking of the mouse and the warmth of the laptop against my lap seem all too […]